how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
ask them to pronounce “unionized”
Holy fuck thats clever
It took me 5 minutes to get this
Oh fuck you.
Smart people jokes be like
I corrected it
I’m from Pennsylvania and that is accurate.
I don’t say it though but EVERYONE ELSE DOES AND IT’S JUST. NO.
'Tell me what happens the first time you see a woman naked.'
'The first time you see a woman naked will not be like you imagined. There will be no love, no trust, no intimacy. You won’t even be in the same room as her.
You won’t get to smile as she undresses you and you undress her. You won’t get to calm her nerves with nerves of your own. You won’t get to kiss her, feeling her lips and the edge of her tongue. You won’t get to brush your fingers over the lace of her bra or count her ribs or feel her heartbeat.
The first time you see a woman naked you will be sitting in front of a computer screen watching someone play at intimacy and perform at sex. She will contort her body to please everyone in the room but her. You will watch this woman who is not a woman, pixelated and filtered and customized. She will come ready-made, like an order at a restaurant. The man on the screen will be bigger than you, rougher than you. He will teach you how to talk to her. He will teach you where to put your hands and he will teach you what you’re supposed to like. He will teach you to take what is yours.
You must unlearn this. You must unlearn this twisted sense of love. You must unlearn the definition of pleasure and intimacy you are being taught. Kill this idea of love, this idea of entitlement, this way of scarring one another.’
Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….
Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).
Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here
the time is now
ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda
it’s called the purple ramjet
which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide
shove a vase up your ass
not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls
i call it the matterhorn
cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through
i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises
You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs
but then suddenly ZOOP
fucking green herrons
What the fuck
As promised, here are some pictures of Lyalya’s first walk outside! Look at the bushy little squirrel tail :D the sandpit was her favorite spot! She was extremely excited and threw sand all over the place
this is a fucking squirrel. this is a fucking squirrel with a cat’s head. who is responsible for this
Bagheerah on the way to pick up your chick.
(submitted by the-white-noise-inmyhead)
this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day
Katie St. Ives
I NEED THE WRESTLING GIF WHERE THE REF SLIDES ALONG THE FLOOR THATS MY FAV
also as an added bonus
Mark Oliver Everett in “Things the Grandchildren Should Know”(via strayrhapsody)